Christmas jokes for kids
Here are 40 clean Christmas jokes for kids, every one written new for this page. They suit ages 4 to 11: the snowman and cookie jokes land with little ones, the word-play ones with kids who can read. Read the question, let everyone guess, then tap Answer.
Snow and snowmen
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Why did the snowman keep a map in his pocket?
So he would never drift off.
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Why was the snowman always in a hurry?
He did everything in a flurry.
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What does a snowman check on his phone?
His snow-tifications.
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What game do snowmen play at recess?
Freeze tag.
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What did the snowman say to the sun?
"Could you give me some space? I'm feeling a little drained."
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What do you call a snowman who knows every answer?
A snow-it-all.
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Why did the snowflake win a trophy?
It was one of a kind.
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Why did the ice skater bring a pencil?
To draw a figure eight.
Gingerbread, cookies and sweets
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Why did the gingerbread man hide from the glass of milk?
He didn't want to get dunked on.
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What does a gingerbread man say before a race?
"Let's get this oven the road!"
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What did the gingerbread family name their new house?
Home Sweet Home. It was the only name that fit.
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Why did the gingerbread man go to school?
He wanted to be a smart cookie.
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What carol do cookies sing?
"Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the bake!"
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Why are candy canes so good at hockey?
They bring their own sticks.
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What kind of pie is the coldest?
Brrr-y pie.
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Why did the marshmallow stay out of the hot chocolate?
It didn't want to get into hot water.
Trees, lights and decorations
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Why did the pine tree get a job at the bank?
It was great with branches.
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What did the Christmas tree say to the star on top?
"You're always going over my head."
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What does a Christmas tree say when it gets a surprise?
"Oh my fir-ness!"
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Why was the Christmas tree excited for New Year?
It wanted to turn over a new leaf. Too bad it only has needles.
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What's a cat's favorite way to decorate the tree?
One ornament at a time, straight onto the floor.
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Why did the wreath bring a map?
It kept going around in circles.
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What did one string of lights say to the other?
"Watt's up?"
Presents
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Why is a present so good at keeping secrets?
It keeps everything under wraps.
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What did the wrapping paper say to the present?
"Don't worry, I've got you covered."
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Why did the tape win the race?
It stuck with it.
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Why did the boy put his present in the freezer?
He wanted a really cool gift.
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What did the bow say to the box?
"Let's tie this up and call it a day."
Bells and carols
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What did one bell say to the other bell?
"Give me a ring sometime."
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Why did the carolers bring a ladder?
To reach the high notes.
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What do owls sing at Christmas?
"Owl Be Home for Christmas."
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What carol do cats sing?
"Deck the Halls with Balls of Yarn."
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Why did the drum go to bed early on Christmas Eve?
It was beat.
Winter and animals
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What did the icicle say to the roof?
"Thanks for letting me hang out."
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What do mittens say at bedtime?
"See you on the other hand."
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What's a mitten's favorite day of the week?
Thumbs-day.
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What's an igloo's favorite holiday song?
"There's No Place Like Dome for the Holidays."
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What does a penguin want for Christmas?
Ice skates. It already has the fancy suit.
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Why did the dog sit so close to the fireplace?
He wanted to be a hot dog.
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What's red and white and goes up and down?
A candy cane in an elevator.
Want them on paper? The lunchbox cards and the cracker jokes come as ready-to-print PDFs, and Print this page gives you every joke above with its answer.
More Christmas for the whole family
Snowglobe Lane is a whole Christmas street you can walk down online: Advent windows to light, carols to sing, a kitchen with cookies to bake, a workshop with things to color and print, and a quiet chapel at the end of the lane.